字
字幕
字幕製
字幕製作
字幕製作 ★
字幕製作 ★ 至
字幕製作 ★ 至宏
字幕製作 ★ 至宏上
字幕製作 ★ 至宏上人.
Oh, America.
美國啊
I wish I could tell you that this was still America...
我希望能告訴你這裡仍是美國
...but I've come to realize that you can't have a country without people.
但我瞭解到一個國家不能沒有人民
And there are no people here.
這裡就沒有人民
No! No!
不！不！
Go back... Fuck!
靠…！
No, my friends.
不，我的朋友
This is now the United States of Zombieland.
現在這裡是美國屍樂園
It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm.
很驚人的是竟然這麼快，情況就一發不可收拾
And why am I alive when everyone around me has turned to meat?
還有，為何我活著，我身邊的所有人卻變成殭屍食物
It's because of my list of rules.
因為我列出法則
Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: Cardio.
在屍樂園的生存法則一，體能佳
法則1 體能佳
Fuck!
靠！
When the virus struck, for obvious reasons...
當病毒侵害，基於明顯理由
...the first ones to go were the fatties.
最先受害的是胖子
Poor fat bastard.
可憐的胖傢伙
But as the infection spread and the chaos grew...
但隨著傳染散播，混亂加劇
...it wasn't enough to just be fast on your feet.
光憑跑得快已經不夠了
You had to get a gun and learn how to use it.
你得有槍，並學習如何使用
Which leads me to my second rule: The Double Tap.
這就產生了法則二，雙重攻擊
法則2 雙重攻擊
In those moments when you're not sure the undead are really "dead" dead...
正當你不確定殭屍是否真的死透
...don't get all stingy with your bullets.
別節省子彈
I mean, one more clean shot to the head...
直接朝腦袋再補一槍
...and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal.
這位女士原本可避免成為人肉餐
Woulda, coulda, shoulda.
現在也後悔莫及了
Wasn't long before the zombies began to get clever.
殭屍不久就會開始變聰明
When you're at your most vulnerable, somehow they could just smell it.
當你無防備時，他們就是能感受到
Can't a guy take a dumper in peace?
讓人安靜撇條好嗎？
Don't let them catch you pants down. Beware of bathrooms.
別在光屁股時被他們找上，法則三，小心廁所
法則3 小心廁所
As zombies began to outnumber humans...
隨著殭屍的數量開始超過人類
...well, that's when you had to cut all emotional ties.
此時你就得切斷所有感情束縛
If the girls in your neighborhood are now fucked-up little monsters...
如果你家附近的女孩，現在變成恐怖的怪獸
我的孩子是模範生
...well, maybe it's time to stop driving carpool.
或許你就該停止跟她們共乘
You had to focus on your own survival...
你得專心使自己存活
...which leads to rule number four. Pretty basic.
這就產生了法則四，相當基本
法則4 安全帶
Fasten your seat belts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
繫上你的安全帶，逃命之路可是顛簸之行
盡頭已近
屍 樂 園
That guy down there is me. I'm in Garland, Texas.
那個人就是我，我在德州嘉倫市
And it may look like zombies destroyed it, but that's actually just Garland.
這裡或許看似已遭殭屍摧殘，但嘉倫市本來就很荒涼
Two months since patient zero took a bite of a contaminated burger...
自從首位中標者在加油站商店…
...at a Gas N' Gulp.
咬下感染的漢堡後，已過兩個月
Just two months, and I might be the last non-cannibal freak in the country.
才兩個月，我也許就是全美，最後一位沒變成食人魔的怪胎
I may seem like an unlikely survivor...
我可能看起來不像倖存者
...with all my phobias and irritable-bowel syndrome...
況且我有恐懼症和大腸急躁症
...but I had the advantage of never having any friends or any close family.
但我的優勢就是根本沒有朋友，家人也都不親
I survive because I play it safe and follow the rules.
我存活因為我謹慎行事，並遵守法則
法則3 小心廁所
My rules.
我的法則
法則1 體能佳
Shit.
該死
法則1 體能佳
Of course.
真要命
法則4 安全帶
Motherfucker.
媽的
法則2 雙重攻擊
On the bright side, I had found a place to go number two.
往好處看，我嚇到趁機拉屎
Another rule to surviving Zombieland: Travel light.
在屍樂園存活的另一項法則就是，輕便旅行
法則7 輕便旅行
And I don't mean just luggage.
連感情也要放輕
I've always been kind of a loner.
我一向算是獨來獨往
I avoided people like they were zombies...
我躲人群像是躲殭屍
...even before they were zombies.
即使在他們變成殭屍前
Now that they are all zombies, I kind of miss people.
現在他們全變成殭屍，我倒有點想念人群了
So I'm on my way from my college dorm in Austin, Texas...
所以我離開德州奧斯汀大學
...to Columbus, Ohio, where I'm hoping my parents are still alive.
往俄亥俄州哥倫布市，我希望住那裡的父母仍活著
Even though we were never really close...
就算我們從來就不親
...it would be nice to see a familiar face, or any face...
看到熟識的臉孔肯定很棒
...that doesn't have blood dripping from its lips and flesh between its teeth.
不然只要是嘴唇沒滴血，牙縫也沒塞肉的臉孔都好
Thank you.
謝謝
-What are you looking for? -Nothing. I just have this list.
-你在找什麼？ -沒事，我只是有一串法則
法則31 檢查後座
No one back there but my duffel bag.
後座只有我的行李袋
-What's your name? -Stop. No names.
-你叫什麼名字？ -住嘴，不問名字
Keeps us from getting too familiar.
這樣我們才不會太麻吉
You almost knocked over your alcohol with your knife.
你的刀差點打翻酒
-That's okay, you don't have to... -So where you headed?
-沒關係，我不喝 -你要去哪裡？
Columbus. You?
哥倫布市，你呢？
Tallahassee.
塔拉哈西市
再一杯？
No, one for me. One and done, I always say. I said that once.
不，一杯就夠了，這也是我自訂的法則之一
You know, Tallahassee and Columbus are both east.
塔拉哈西市和哥倫布市都往東
So?
所以呢？
So, Tallahassee, you wanna stick together?
所以塔拉哈西，你想同行嗎？
-Least for a while? -Here's the deal, Columbus.
-起碼一段路？ -醜話說前頭，哥倫布
I'm not easy to get along with...
我很難相處
...and I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch...
我也感覺到你是個小孬孬
...so I give this relationship to about Texarkana.
所以我們只同車到德克薩卡那
Really? Yeah. You'll take me as far as Texarkana.
真的？好，載我到德克薩卡那
You're a peppy little spit-fuck, aren't you?
你是個樂觀小子，是吧？
You might wanna buckle up for safety.
你最好繫上安全帶，安全考量
I can tell already you are gonna get on my nerves.
我有預感，你會惹毛我
Even though teaming up wasn't my style...
儘管與人同行不是我的作風
...I figured I'd be safer with Tallahassee.
我想有塔拉哈西相伴會更安全
You see, he was in the ass-kicking business, and...
他以殺殭屍為業
Business is good.
殺殭屍超爽的
It became quickly apparent, however, that he did have one weakness.
很快你會發現他確實有個弱點
What are we doing here?
你停在這裡幹嘛？
Well, take a look. It's a goddamn Hostess truck.
瞧，是餐車耶
Yeah, I see that, a Hostess truck. So what?
看見了，是餐車，所以咧？
I could use a Twinkie.
我想吃『甜吉』
-You coming? -Yes. Yeah. One second.
-一起來嗎？ -好，等一下
-Are you fucking with me? -No.
-你在耍我嗎？ -不是
法則18 熱身運動
You should actually limber up as well.
你也應該熱身一番
Especially if we are going down that hill.
尤其我們要下去山丘
It is very important.
這很重要
I don't believe in it.
我才不信那套
You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?
你看過獅子在捉羚羊前熱身嗎？
女主人蛋糕
-Sno Balls? -Yeah.
-雪球糕？ -對
Sno Balls?
雪球糕？
Where's the fucking Twinkies?
他媽的甜吉在哪裡？
I like Sno Balls.
我愛吃雪球糕
I hate coconut. Not the taste, consistency.
我討厭椰子，不是味道，是口感黏稠
Fresh.
沒過期
Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain't over yet.
找不到甜吉，我絕不善罷干休
Hey, this may be a bad time...
現在時機可能不對，可是…
...but I gotta take the Browns to the Super Bowl.
我得撇條
-Really? -Really.
-真的？ -真的
廁所
I know, again, so soon? What can I say?
我知道拉得太頻繁，我能怎麼辦？
I have a case of chronic anxiety.
我有慢性焦慮症
Truth is, I was always kind of phobic. I found lots of things disturbing.
實際上，我經常恐慌，老是擔心東擔心西的
Like undertow or department store Santas.
像是退波或百貨公司的聖誕老公公
Being alone with a baby.
還有跟嬰兒獨處
But the thing I fear more than anything, yes, even more than zombies...
但我最怕的是…沒錯，甚至比殭屍還怕
...fucking clowns.
就是該死的小丑
When you're afraid of everything that's out there...
當你心中有鬼
...you quit going out there...
你就不敢走出去
...which is what happened to me before Zombieland.
在屍樂園之前我就這樣
Friday night, third straight week indoors.
週五晚上，連續三週沒出門…
"World of Warcraft"...
打《魔獸世界》電玩
...leaning tower of pizza boxes...
叫一堆外賣披薩
...Code Red Mountain Dew.
配山露汽水櫻桃口味
Pride, nowhere.
自尊，蕩然無存
Dignity, long gone.
尊嚴，早就消失
Virginity, totally justifiable to speculate on.
童貞，不用說也知道還在
Smooth.
要命
My whole life, all I'd ever wanted was to find a girl...
我這輩子的最大願望就是…
...and fall in love, bring her home to meet the folks.
找到相愛的女孩，帶她回家見父母
Then again, since my folks are paranoid shut-ins like me...
同樣地，由於我父母跟我一樣，都是偏執狂的阿宅
...maybe this girl could bring me home to her folks.
或許這女孩能帶我回家見她父母
And then I'd finally be a member of a cool, functional family.
然後我終於會擁有一個，又酷又像樣的家庭
408.
408！
Please, is anyone home? Please, it's an emergency.
拜託，有人在家嗎？拜託，是緊急事件！
I don't usually unlock my door to the sounds of panic...
通常我聽到驚恐聲音不會開門
...but my neighbor 406 is insanely hot.
但我的406室友是個超級辣妹
Okay, okay.
好，好
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
謝謝…！
Nice to meet you.
很高興認識妳
Here.
拿去
There you go.
喝吧
-Mountain Dew? -Yeah. Code Red.
-山露汽水？ -對，櫻桃口味
And here's some Golden Grahams. The Ziploc bag keeps them crisp.
還有麥片，放保鮮袋維持脆度
Okay. Keep that there.
隨時可吃
So tell me what happened.
告訴我怎麼回事
He was homeless and sick.
他無家可歸又…生病
And I was walking home from the bar, talking on my phone...
我從夜店邊講手機邊走路回家
...and then he just came sprinting towards me.
然後他就衝向我
I mean, not running, sprinting.
不是跑，是衝喔
And I thought, you know, like, maybe he was running from someone...
我想或許他在躲別人或追別人
...or after someone, but last time I saw he was still out there going crazy.
但我最後看到他時，他還在外頭發瘋
Drugs, maybe?
或許嗑藥了？
I didn't even tell you the worst part.
我還沒告訴你最恐怖的部份
Yeah?
什麼？
He tried to bite me.
他想咬我
-You're right, that's the worst part. -I'm sorry. I'm just so scared.
-沒錯，這是最恐怖的部份 -對不起，我好害怕
No, no, no, you should be scared. A homeless man just tried to eat you.
不…妳應該害怕，剛才一個流浪漢想吃妳
That's the right kind of scared. That's reasonable.
這種害怕是正常的，是合理的害怕
I get scared for things that don't make sense, like clowns with red noses...
我就會為無緣由的小事害怕，比如紅鼻子的小丑
...or the rags they use to wipe tables when you finish eating at a restaurant.
或是用完餐擦桌子的抹布，像是連鎖餐廳的那種
Really?
真的？
Look, the point is I am here for you, okay?
聽著，重點是…我會保護妳，好嗎？
And as long as you are by my side, I am not leaving this apartment.
只要妳在我身旁，我就不會離開這間公寓
Do you mind if I just close my eyes for a minute?
介意我瞇一下嗎？
No, of course. Of course.
當然，請便
-Thank you. -Okay.
-謝謝你 -不客氣
Set aside the feverish, homeless cannibal...
管他什麼抓狂的流浪漢食人魔
...l'm living the dream.
我要活在美夢中
I had always, my whole life...
我這一生都想…
...wanted to brush a girl's hair over her ear.
撥女孩耳際的髮絲
-Good night. -Good night.
-晚安 -晚安
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
Are you okay?
妳沒事吧？
Okay, okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop.
我的媽呀，冷靜…別激動
What are you doing?
妳要幹嘛？
Look, stay back, 406, okay? I don't wanna hurt you, but...
聽著，別過來，406，我不想傷害妳，可是…
Shit.
該死
Oh, my God, I'm so fucking sorry.
我的天啊！真是萬分抱歉！
You see, you just can't trust anyone.
看吧，誰都不能信任
The first time I let a girl into my life and she tries to eat me.
我第一次讓女生進入我的生活，她竟然想吃我
Please. Listen to me.
拜託，聽我說
406.
406！
If you're in there...
如果妳有意識
...you're just sick. Okay?
妳只是病了
法則2 雙重攻擊
That was my first brush with the plague of the 21 st century.
那是我第一次碰到21世紀的瘟疫
Remember mad cow disease?
記得狂牛症嗎？
Well, mad cow became mad person became mad zombie.
瘋牛變瘋人，再變瘋殭屍
It's a fast-acting virus that left you with a swollen brain, a raging fever...
這種病毒散佈很快，頭會腫脹，超亢奮
...that made you hateful, violent...
使你滿懷憎恨、暴力
...and gave you a really, really bad case of the munchies.
讓你想大快朵頤人肉
All right, you steer, I'll push.
好，你駕駛，我推車
Okay.
好
Okay.
好
I've heard there's a place that's untouched by this crap.
我聽說有個地方沒有殭屍肆虐
-Back east, yeah? -Yeah. You heard the same thing?
-東部，對吧？ -對，你聽過相同傳聞？
Out west, we hear it's back east. Back east, they hear it's out west.
我們西部人聽說在東部，東部人聽說在西部
It's all just nonsense.
全是唬爛
You know, you're like a penguin on the North Pole...
這就像北極的企鵝聽說…
...who hears the South Pole is really nice this time of year.
南極這個季節正舒服
There are no penguins on the North Pole.
北極沒有企鵝
You wanna feel how hard I can punch?
想試我拳頭的力道嗎？
So, what do you think?
所以是怎樣？
Wait, the last time I laid some pipe?
等等，我上次炒飯的時候？
Last time you went 20 toes, put Percy in the playpen?
上次你嘿咻、打砲的時候
Who's Percy?
打砲是啥？
Wallpapered the closet, passed the gravy.
亂搞、爽一下
-Went heels to Jesus. -Oh, made love.
-有一腿 -原來是做愛
Well, just sex.
沒錯，性事
Three weeks ago. Yeah.
這個嘛，三週前
In the back of an abandoned FedEx truck.
在廢棄的快遞卡車後面
-Shut up. -No, no, I was headed east.
-少來了 -不，我往東
She, west.
她往西
And we took shelter in the back of the truck.
我們在卡車後面避難
-It was full of undelivered packages. -What was her name?
-散落著未送的包裹 -她叫什麼名字？
Beverly.
比佛莉
Beverly Hills.
比佛莉山莊
You dog.
真有你的
So, what about you?
那你呢？
Me? I...
我？我…
Aye, aye, aye.
唉呀呀
Oh, my God. It makes you sick.
我的天啊，看了真噁
You know, it makes you sad, it makes you...
看了真難過，看了…
It makes you think if you can go back to the way things were right now...
看了會希望回到原來的世界
...you know, you'd be...
你知道，你會…
You'd be out in the backyard, you know, trying to catch fireflies.
在後院外頭抓蝴蝶
And instead this.
而不是看到這種慘狀
-I mean, it makes you... -Hungry.
-看了會… -胃口大開
I'm worried about you.
我很擔心你
Look, whatever you have waiting for you in Columbus...
不管哥倫布市有什麼令你期待
...I promise you it ain't prettier than our friend here enjoying her Manwich.
我保證不比這個大啖人肉的，女殭屍好到哪裡去
Tallahassee had a sick sense of humor when it came to zombies.
一談到殭屍，塔拉哈西就有一種變態的幽默
Zombies aren't the most lovable creatures, but he really hated them.
殭屍是不太討人喜歡，但他恨他們入骨
The only thing he was more obsessed with than killing zombies...
事實上，他唯一勝過殺殭屍的癖好…
...was finding a Twinkie.
就是找到甜吉
Something about a Twinkie reminded him of a time not so long ago...
甜吉令他想起不久前的事
布蘭恩雜貨店
...when things were simple and not so fucking psychotic.
那時情況單純，沒這麼失控
It was like if he got a taste of that comforting childhood treat...
彷彿他只要嚐到兒時愛吃的零食
...the world would become innocent, and everything would return to normal.
世界又會變回純真，一切會回歸正常
What, are you prospecting?
你是要探勘嗎？
Jesus Christ.
太誇張了！
You are a dangerous man.
你真是個危險人物
You're gonna risk our lives for a Twinkie?
你為了甜吉，要冒生命危險？
There is a box of Twinkies in that grocery store.
那間商店裡可能有一箱甜吉
Not just any box of Twinkies.
那可不是普通的甜點
The last box of Twinkies that anyone will enjoy in the whole universe.
全世界每個人都愛的，最後一箱甜吉
Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date.
信不信由你，甜吉有過期日
Someday very soon, life's little Twinkie gauge is gonna go empty.
不久之後，甜吉就會壽終正寢
Time to nut up or shut up.
該帶種了，否則閉嘴
When Tallahassee goes Hulk on a zombie...
當塔拉哈西摃上殭屍
...he sets the standard for not-to-be-fucked-with.
他設下『別找碴』的標準
No fear, nothing to lose.
毫無所懼，義無反顧
What can I say? It's like... It's like art.
怎麼說呢？簡直就是藝術
You got a pretty mouth.
你嘴巴好漂亮
Don't swing, don't swing.
別揮，別揮！
Swing.
揮！
-Thank you. -You owe me.
-謝了 -你欠我一次
Yeah.
好
You're incredible.
你太屌了
-I know. -Yeah.
-我瞭 -是啊
Twinkie, Twinkie, Twinkie, Twinkie.
甜吉…
Big Hoss.
哇塞，大塊頭
Come here, big fella. Just gonna take a little off the top.
過來，大隻佬，幫你修個頭髮
Wow, these fellas really let themselves go.
這些傢伙太放縱身材了
And they're so fat.
他們太肥了
I think we should probably just keep going.
我想我們可能該繼續走
All I could think of was, what are the odds?
我唯一想到的是，好巧啊
Another marriageable woman to bring home to the folks.
另一個可帶回家見父母的結婚對象
Come quick.
快過來
Someone's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it.
她耳際的髮絲有被撥的危險了
Hey.
嘿
I'll catch up.
我會跟上
Rule number 22: When in doubt, know your way out.
法則二十二，沒把握時，留後路
法則22 沒把握時留後路
They're sisters. The little one's been bitten.
她們是姊妹，妹妹被咬了
Act normal. Try not to freak her out.
裝沒事，盡量別嚇到她
Yeah.
好
Columbus, Wichita, Little Rock.
哥倫布，威奇塔，小石頭
So you did all this for a Twinkie?
所以你為了甜吉幹這些事？
No, no, no, he did. I'm just kind of like a Sancho Panza character.
不…是他，我只是共犯角色
Look, I don't think she has long.
聽著，我想她快發作了
Yeah, I know. I know, and she knows. We're just looking for a way out.
我知道，她也知道，我只是想讓她走得安詳一點
No, no, no, no. She's just a little girl.
不…她只是個小女孩
Don't talk about me like I'm not here.
別在講我的時候還假裝我不在
Right, sorry.
好，歹勢
Look, I know that you're really sick.
我知道妳病得很重
But your sister wants me to...
但妳姊要我…
It's not her decision, okay? It's mine.
這不是她的決定，是我的
I made her promise.
我逼她承諾的
We already said goodbye, but we didn't have a gun.
我們已道別了，但我們沒槍
We don't know that there's no cure.
聽著，搞不好有解藥，我想我們應該…
You're just gutless!
你真沒種！
Give him the gun.
槍給他
Wait, wait, wait.
等一下…
I'll do it.
我來動手
-I love you. -I love you too.
-我愛妳 -我也愛妳
You need some help?
需要幫忙嗎？
Now that you mention it...
既然你大方提出
...we'll take your weapons, car keys, your ammunition.
我們要帶走你們的武器，車子鑰匙、彈藥
-And if you've got it, sugarless gum. -What the fuck?
-有無糖口香糖的話也交出來 -搞什麼鬼？
Wait, why are you guys doing this?
等一下，妳們為什麼這樣？
Better you make the mistake of trusting us...
最好是你們犯錯信任我們
...than us make the mistake of trusting you.
不是我們犯錯信任你們
The first hot girl in 1000 miles shows up, makes me feel like an idiot...
真糗，長途跋涉出現第一個辣妹，讓我感覺像白痴
...steals my double-barrel and then says I'm the one that can't be trusted.
偷走我的雙管獵槍，然後說我不值得信任
Nice going, genius.
幹得好，天才
You're the one that gave her the gun.
是你給她槍的
Those guys were dumb.
那兩傢伙真蠢
Avoid the vanity mirror.
別照化妝鏡
Relax, okay? I just passed for a zombie.
放心，我剛剛才被當成殭屍
-What I'd give for a shower... -Do not say S-H-O-W-E-R, okay?
-我超想洗… -別提到『洗澡』好嗎？
Let's just get where we're going.
我們快去我們的目的地
-So do you think it's true? -Is what true?
-妳覺得是真的嗎？ -什麼真的嗎？
You know, about Pacific Playland?
太平樂園的事
Totally zombie-free. Only place west of Waco.
完全沒殭屍，瓦科以西的唯一安全地
Trust me.
相信我
He's on one of these serious Tour de France bikes...
他騎著專業腳踏車
You know, with, like, the toeholds, right?
就是腳趾固定的那種
...and he's pedaling, and the zombie's head is, like, caught in the gear.
他踩著踏板，殭屍的頭被捲進齒輪裡
You know, with the hair in the chain just, like, going around.
頭髮扯在鍊條上隨風飄逸
Very cool.
-太酷了 -沒錯
But zombie kill of the week? No, sir.
不過『本週最佳殭屍殺法』有更讚的
I saw this construction worker. I shit you not...
我看見一個營建工人，沒唬你
...he is on a steamroller, and a zombie goes down in front of him.
他開著壓路機，一個殭屍在前面被壓過去
You ever roll a tube of toothpaste up from the bottom?
你有捲過牙膏條後段嗎？
-I always roll it up from the bottom. -Well, the zombie's head is the cap.
-有，我習慣捲起後段 -好，殭屍的頭就像蓋子
Are you one of these guys that tries to one-up everybody else's story?
等等，你是那種，老愛跟人比較的人嗎？
No. I knew a guy way worse at that than me.
不，我知道有個傢伙比我更超過
All right, let's just try to find a car.
好，我們要設法找到一輛車
Which reminds me...
這提醒我，你上車之前
...I never had headaches like this till your ass came onboard.
我從沒遇過這種鳥事
I mean, do what you want with a man, but do not fuck with his Cadillac.
偷別人的凱迪拉克最沒品了
Hey, there's a nice minivan.
這有一輛不錯的休旅車
Oh, you know something? That is nice.
真不錯
That's a beautiful van.
真漂亮的車子
God!
天啊！
Tallahassee believes you have to blow off steam in Zombieland...
塔拉哈西堅決相信，非得在屍樂園發洩一番
...or else you lose what's left of your mind.
否則遲早會瘋掉
If it makes him happy and keeps him from using that crowbar on me...
要是這樣他能快樂，也能避免他用那支鐵橇對付我
...then I say, "Hey, go ape shit."
那我會說『盡情砸吧』
I want my Caddy back!
把我的凱迪拉克還我！
Stupid little bitches!
夭壽的小賤人！
Oh, I think I pulled something.
-你… -我好像扭傷了
Think the two of us are smart enough to come up with a con like that?
咱們倆這麼聰明一定能，想出類似的騙術吧？
法則18 熱身運動
You hesitated.
你猶豫了
Is it better to be smart or lucky?
聰明還是走運比較有效？
Look at what we got here.
瞧我們發現什麼
Come on.
鬆手吧
-That's nice. -Smell the finger?
-真不賴 -聞一下手指
法則31 檢查後座
Yes.
讚喔！
Thank God for rednecks.
謝天謝地！
This is a really big truck...
這台車真屌
...and these are really big guns.
這些槍也真屌
Take your time.
你慢慢來
You know, they say, "He who seeks revenge...
聽說『尋求報復者應該…
...should remember to dig two graves."
記住挖兩座墳墓』
Right. Two graves. One for the big chick, one for the little chick.
沒錯，兩座墳墓，一座給那個姊姊，一座給妹妹
You are scary happy.
你爽到爆了
Come on, why don't we just forget about those girls and head home?
乾脆我們忘掉那兩女孩，回家算了
Oh, you want to talk about home?
你想談論家啊
For me, home was a puppy named Buck.
對我來說，家就是，我的小乖巴克
Cutest dog ever.
最可愛的寶貝
All those fucking zombies.
那些該死的殭屍
I lost him.
害我失去他
And there ain't no getting him back, so I'm looking for a new home.
他不可能再回來了，所以我在尋找一個新家
Tomorrow, I may be skinny-dipping in the Yellowstone River...
明天，我可能在黃石公園裸泳
...or swinging from the chandeliers in the Playboy Mansion...
或在花花公子宅邸吊燈上盪鞦韆
...but today, a Vortec six-fucking-liter V8...
不過今天，六公升V8引擎的悍馬
...a box full of hollow points, and, Lord willing, a GD Twinkie.
一箱彈藥，最好還有超好吃的甜吉
Gotta enjoy the little things.
你總得享受一點小樂趣
I hate to give credit to anyone who looks like Yosemite Sam...
我不願相信這痞子的鬼話
...but I'm writing it down.
但我寫下來了
Rule number 32: Enjoy the little things.
法則三十二，享受小樂趣
法則32 享受小樂趣
Knowing them, it's a trap.
看來是她們的陷阱
Wait here. Drive down if I signal.
在這裡等，我打信號就開過來
You're not gonna shoot them, are you?
你不會斃了她們，對吧？
Not unless they shoot at me.
除非她們對我開槍
Oh, let's hope they shoot at me.
真希望她們對我開槍
救命
Looks like they hoofed it.
看來她們走了
Probably headed west.
可能向西
Just drive slow, keep your eyes peeled.
慢慢開，保持警覺
Sure.
當然
-They're in the back, aren't they? -Just me.
-她們在後座，對吧？ -對，只有我
I'm really sorry. She was like a crouching tiger.
很抱歉，她像是臥虎藏龍
You got taken hostage by a 12-year-old?
你被十二歲小鬼當人質？
Girls mature faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age.
女生比男性成熟得快，她比我十二歲時成熟多了
Twelve's the new 20. Gun, please.
現在十二歲等於二十歲，請交出槍
Like you would ever use that thing.
包妳不會開槍
Don't kill me with my own gun!
別用我的槍殺我！
All those violent video games.
全拜暴力電玩之賜
-Yeah. -Thank you.
-沒錯 -謝謝
-Now honk your horn. -What?
-現在按喇叭 -什麼？
Honk it.
快按！
It's your sister, with my gun. Hello.
是你姊，拿著我的槍，妳好
Bummer.
衰鬼
Now step away from the vehicle.
立刻下車
You get to ride shotgun.
你坐過去
I kind of like this girl.
我還蠻欣賞這女孩的
She's not your typical hot, stuck-up bitch.
她不是一般的臭屁辣妹
Even before Zombieland, Wichita was running the table on guys like us.
甚至在屍樂園形成前，威奇塔就專騙我們這種男人
加油站與商店
-What are you looking for? -My engagement ring.
-妳在找什麼？ -我的訂婚戒指
I took it off to pump my gas, and I thought that I put it in my purse...
我打氣時取下來，我以為放進錢包裡
...but it must've fallen out, and I'm late for my flight and...
但一定是掉出來了，我要趕搭飛機，我…
Well, listen, I'll find your ring, and I'll FedEx it to you.
聽著，我會找到妳的戒指，我會快遞給妳
I'll give you a reward.
我會給你獎賞
Don't be silly.
別客氣啦
Three thousand dollars. It's worth more than my car.
三千元美金，戒指比我的車子還值錢
Just give me your number.
給我妳的電話號碼
Yeah. I'll find it.
我會找到的
Yeah, I'll start looking for it right now.
我馬上就開始找
Because I got nothing else to do.
反正我沒事做
I was engaged once...
我訂婚過一次
...but I'm single now.
但目前單身
Bye-bye.
再見！
Hope you make your flight.
希望妳趕上飛機！
No, but I know it's around here somewhere.
我知道在這裡某處
She's on a plane, that's the beauty of it.
她在飛機上，所以我賺到了
Let me call you back.
我再打給你
Hey, you found my ring.
妳找到我的戒指了
Thanks. I've been looking all over for it.
謝了，我一直遍尋不著
-Your ring? -Well, it's my friend's, you know.
-你的戒指？ -是我朋友的
-I'm gonna send it to her. -Do I get a reward?
-我要寄給她 -我有獎賞嗎？
Forty, 60, 80, 400.
四十、六十、八十、四百
That's it. That's the whole register.
沒了，收銀機只有這些
You made someone very happy.
妳真是助人為樂
You too.
你也是
Nice.
正點
How many left?
還剩幾個？
Let me see.
我來數
Enough for us to get to California.
足夠撐到加州
Someday, I want a ring this big.
以後我也要這麼大的鑽戒
For the low price of 30 bucks, sold.
以低價三十元賣出
It's amazing how far you can get with some costume jewelry...
妳們靠玩具戒指和逼真演技…
...and a cutthroat attitude.
就能招搖撞騙真是太神了
I guess we're just lucky they didn't leave us by the side of the road.
我們沒被她們丟在路旁算是幸運了
Thank you, Wichita. Thanks, Little Rock.
謝謝，威奇塔，謝了，小石頭
For fuck's sake, enough! We're being chased by ravenous freaks!
拜託夠了啦，我們正被畸形餓鬼追逐
We don't have enough problems?
我們的問題還不夠嗎？
"They stole my Hummer. We have trust issues."
『她們偷了我的悍馬，我們有信任的問題』
We can't just fucking drive down the road...
一筆勾銷，好嗎？我們不行停在路上…
...playing I Spy or some shit for hours like four normal-ass Americans?
像四個無聊美國人，玩兩小時的諜對諜遊戲
Fuck me!
我靠！
I know.
-好猛 -我瞭
Let me be the mature one.
我就成熟一點吧
Good.
很好
So where are you guys headed?
妳們要去哪裡？
Pacific Playland.
太平樂園
The amusement park?
那座遊樂園？
-Wait, outside L.A.? -Yeah. We went there as kids.
-在洛杉磯外圍？ -對，我們小時候去過
That place totally blows.
那個地方全毀了
My mind. It's so fun.
我認為太好玩了
Just good entertainment for the whole family.
適合全家的好娛樂
Yeah, I went there as a kid too. In fact, this probably counts as off-season.
沒錯，其實我小時候也去過，實際上，現在可能是淡季價
Well, did you guys hear? There are no zombies there.
你們有聽說嗎？那裡沒有殭屍
Yeah, we heard.
聽過啦
You know, I may not shoot you, but you have still royally pissed me off...
說真的，我可能不會斃了妳，但妳還是惹毛我了
...and I'm not going to play with you at Pacific Playland.
我可不跟妳去太平樂園玩
-Don't worry, he grows on you. -Really?
-別擔心，相處久就會喜歡他 -真的？
No. It gets worse.
不，會更討厭
Okay. How about we play the quiet game?
好了，我們何不來玩沈默遊戲
Yeah? Starting now.
好嗎？現在開始
Oh, I've actually been meaning to ask you:
我其實一直想問妳
Did you hear anything about Columbus, Ohio?
妳聽過俄亥俄哥倫布市的消息？
-You never played the quiet game? -Sorry.
-你沒玩過沈默遊戲嗎？ -對不起
No? Well, they're playing it in Columbus.
沒有？殭屍正在大鬧俄亥俄州哥倫布市
It's a total ghost town. It's burned to the ground.
那裡變成一座鬼城，慘不忍睹
You're Columbus.
你來自哥倫布市
I'm sorry.
對不起
I didn't realize it was...
我沒想到…
I'm not sure what's more tragic: that my family is gone...
我不確定怎樣較悲慘，我的家人嗝屁
...or the realization that I never really had much of a family to begin with.
或是瞭解到我永遠失去家人
Either way, I can't pretend that what I'm looking for I'll find by going home.
不管怎樣，我無法假裝，回家就能如願以償
I have no home.
我沒家了
We can get you a ride.
我們可以載你一程
You know, you can go see for yourself...
你可以親自去確認
...or settle somewhere new.
或是在新地方安頓
Okay.
好
I could tell she knew what I was feeling.
我敢說她知道我在想什麼
We were all orphans in Zombieland.
我們都是屍樂園的孤兒
I know this Pacific Playland thing is nuts...
我懂太平樂園的事不切實際
...but it's just been so long since she got to be a kid.
不過她太久沒有童年了
Yeah, it's tough growing up in Zombieland.
沒錯，在屍樂園成長很殘酷
It's tough growing up.
成長本來就很殘酷
There.
那裡
You could take that truck.
你可以開那台車
Well, I hope you find whoever it is you're looking for.
希望你能找到你的家人
And don't let go, once you do.
一旦找到，就守住他們
It wasn't just because I had nowhere else to go.
不僅是因為我沒地方可去
It was because, in that moment, it became clear.
而是因為在那一刻，我想通了
Wherever this girl was, that's where I wanted to be.
不管這女孩去哪裡，我都跟定了
Man, we're gonna have to pull over soon. I'm feeling cooped up.
我們得趕快停個車，我感覺悶死了
原住民飾品商店 兩百英哩
"Wantum your wampum." Yeah. That'll work.
『原住民商店』還不賴
-Okay, but what the hell are we doing? -Just humor him. Trust me.
-好，但我們到底要幹嘛？ -順著他，相信我
Hold up.
等一下
Who wants to go first?
誰要打前鋒？
I really, really wanna impress Wichita...
我非常想讓威奇塔刮目相看
...but it would be in violation of rule 17...
但這樣恰好違反法則十七
...maybe the most important rule of all: Don't be a hero.
也許是最重要的一項法則，別當英雄
法則17 別當英雄
-Why don't you take this one? -Don't mind if I do.
-這次何不讓你打前鋒？ -樂意至極
What do you think? Zombie kill of the week?
怎樣？『本週最佳殭屍殺法』？
本週最佳殭屍殺法
Close, but no cigar. Kill of the week...
接近，但略遜一籌『本週最佳殭屍殺法』頒給…
...goes to Sister Cynthia Knickerbocker.
辛西亞尼克巴克姊妹
Poor flat bastard.
可憐的胖傢伙
-Perfume? -What?
-香水？ -什麼？
Is that perfume?
是香水嗎？
It's cologne.
嗯，是古龍水
I'm thinking...
聞起來像…
...Lancôme Magnifique.
蘭寇女性香水
Why don't you speak up a little?
你乾脆講大聲點
I think they might have missed it in Santa Fe.
我想她們太遠沒聽到
-Oh, my God. -All right. Okay.
-喔，我的天 -好，好了
You're thinking about fucking Wichita.
你想搞威奇塔？
Wish granted. She spent the last 24 hours fucking us both.
如你所願，她過去二十四小時已經搞了咱們倆
Hey.
嘿
Good luck now, Petunia.
祝好運，娘炮
Okay.
好
Let me begin by saying you're a wonderful human with great potential.
容我展開三階段的道歉，首先我覺得你是潛力十足的出色人才
It's okay, but FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.
少廢話，你最好知道，敢動我寒毛的人都死得很慘
-I'm sure. -You get 45 percent power.
-我相信 -我會用百分之四十五的力量扁你
Thank you.
感恩
Yeah. Come on, break another one.
好，來吧，再砸一個
Nice.
漂亮
Doesn't that feel good?
感覺很爽吧？
Tallahassee's right. You gotta enjoy the little things...
有時塔拉哈西說得對，你得享受一點小樂趣
法則32 享受一點小樂趣
...even if that means destroying a whole lot of little things.
即使這表示毀掉一堆小玩意
Smells like perfume.
我聞到香水味
-You don't know who Willie Nelson is? -No.
-妳沒聽過威利尼爾森？ -沒有
Willie Nelson?
威利尼爾森？
Yeah, no, I don't.
完全沒有
I shave every morning, but sometimes by, like, 4:30, I'll have a thing.
我每天早上刮鬍子，但有時約下午四點半時會再長一點
It's called 5:00 shadow, but sometimes I'll get it prematurely.
我知道這稱為『五點鬍渣』但有時我會早於五點
Since it's a freeway, you can get it up to, like, 65,
因為這是高速公路，妳可以飆到時速六十五英哩
but don't go more than 75.
但最好別超過時速七十五英哩
-You don't wanna go more than 20. -Don't worry about a blind spot.
-最好別超過時速二十英哩 -別管視野死角
Blind spots are for other drivers.
其他駕駛人才要注意
It's like the first time that I've ever driven.
老實說，只不過是新手上路
So do you never strap in or it's just on long road trips?
妳從不繫安全帶，或者只有長途旅行時？
It's just there's zombies everywhere. I think the least of my worries...
不，只是到處都有殭屍，我覺得最不必操心的就是…
-Yeah, that's true. -...is seat belts.
-對，沒錯 -安全帶
Yes, but, no, she's not.
對，但她才不是
She's only famous when she's Hannah Montana, when she's wearing the wig.
她只有戴假髮扮孟漢娜時才出名
-Right. Only wig. -So...
-好，只有戴假髮時 -所以…
It's kind of freeing.
自在多了
Yeah.
沒錯
For the first time in a long time, we were having fun.
長久以來第一次，我們玩得很開心
So even though it ran counter to our strategies...
所以即使這抵觸我們的生存策略
...we decided to stay together as far as Pacific Playland.
我們決定結伴到太平樂園
歡迎光臨加州
I think sleep deprivation is the number one health problem in America.
我認為睡眠不足是，美國第一名的健康問題
Well, now I think it might be number two.
我想現在變第二名了
-Number two. -That's adorable.
-第二名 -那敢情好，我只是建議…
-I think we should find a place to crash. -Oh, I got an idea.
-我們應該找地方瞇一下 -我有個點子
We're in Hollywood, let's sleep in style.
既然在好萊塢，就要睡得有品味
感染區
Grab a map.
拿份地圖
明星家的地圖指南
Come on.
快點
Hurry! Hurry!
趕快！
Good job.
幹得好
Looks like anyone who's ever been in a movie lives on this block.
看來住這區的人全演過電影
What exactly you think we're doing in the 90210, Sally?
不然你以為我們到底，來這裡幹嘛，娘兒？
I pictured Tom Cruise living somewhere nicer.
我以為阿湯哥住得更高級
B-lister compared to who I got in mind, folks.
他在我心目中只是B咖
We're going to the tippy-top of the A-list.
我們一定要找到A咖中的大哥
-Who? -You'll see.
-誰？ -待會就知道
Hey. There's a big BM.
這裡寫了好大的『BM』
And it ain't Bob Marley.
可不是巴布馬利
This place is incredible.
這個地方太豪華了
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to la mançion de Murray.
各位先生女士，歡迎光臨墨瑞的宅邸
-Bill Murray. -God, no way.
-原來是比爾墨瑞 -天啊，不會吧
This guy has a direct line to my funny bone.
我覺得他超好笑的
-Everything... -Wait. Who's Bill Murray?
-這一切… -等一下，誰是比爾墨瑞？
Hey, I've never hit a kid before.
別逼我打小孩
All right? I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.
這就像是在問甘地是誰
Who's Gandhi?
誰是甘地？
She's 12.
她才十二歲
-No Twinkies. -Shit, fuck!
-沒有甜吉 -靠，該死！
See? I told you we should've gone to Russell Crowe's.
看吧，我就說該去羅素克洛家
-No one listens to me. -Hello, inside voices. Okay?
-沒人聽我勸 -小聲點好嗎？
At least until we know we're alone.
至少先確定屋內沒人
Tallahassee, Wichita, take that way. Little Rock, come here.
威奇塔、塔拉哈西，你們檢查那邊，小石頭，跟我來
Why do I get stuck with her?
為什麼我要跟她一組？
It doesn't seem to end.
好像走不完
Hey, come here.
過來這裡
He has his own movie theater?
他有個人電影院？
Okay, I'm gonna teach you something about Bill Murray.
我要稍微向妳介紹比爾墨瑞
A king slept right here.
巨星睡過這裡
Dibs on the bed.
留給我睡
Too soft for me, anyway.
好啊，反正對我來說太軟了
Oh, this is so exciting. You're about to learn who you gonna call.
太刺激了，妳會懂要打給誰
It's Ghostbusters.
是魔鬼剋星
This is pretty catchy.
真是琅琅上口
Come on.
快點
Help me with the boots. Come on.
快點，幫我脫靴子
Help me with the boots.
幫我脫靴子
Okay. I'll get them myself.
好吧，我自己脫
Shit.
要命
Bill Murray, you're a zombie?
比爾墨瑞，你是殭屍？
I'm on fire!
我受傷了！痛斃了！
You're not a zombie, you're talking, and...
你不是殭屍，你會說話，怎麼回事…
-You're okay? -The hell I am!
-你沒事吧？ -沒事個頭！
I'm sorry. I didn't know that it was "you" you.
對不起，我不知道真的是你
Are you...? What's with the get-up?
你…幹嘛扮成這副德性？
Oh, I do it to blend in. You know.
為了融入他們
Zombies don't mess with other zombies.
殭屍不會找同類麻煩
Buddy of mine showed me how to do this.
我的化妝師巴迪，教我怎麼化妝成殭屍
Cornstarch. You know, some berries, a little licorice for the ladies.
玉米澱粉、一些莓果，女殭屍還愛甘草味
Suits my lifestyle, you know. I like to get out and do stuff.
適合我的生活風格，我喜歡出去找樂子
Just played nine holes on the Riviera. Just walked on. Nobody there.
我在高爾夫球場玩小白球，隨意揮桿，不用等人
Goddamn it, Bill fucking Murray!
太殺了！是比爾墨瑞耶！
I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush.
我得抒發一下，我情不自禁
This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time.
太不真實了，你可能經常遇到這種情形
Maybe not lately, but I'm such a huge fan of yours.
或許最近沒有，但我是你的頭號粉絲
I mean, I swear, you know...
我發誓
...l've seen every one of your movies a million times.
我看過你的每部電影幾百次
I even love your dramatic roles and just everything.
連你的嚴肅角色也愛，什麼都愛
Six people left in the world, one of them is Bill fucking Murray!
全世界可能只有六個人還活著，其中一人是他媽的比爾墨瑞耶！
I know that's not your middle name. I been watching you since I was like...
歹勢在你名字前亂加『他媽的』我從六歲就看你演出
Since I could masturbate. I mean, not that they're connected.
從我會打手槍時，別誤會，這並不相關
"A former greenskeeper about to become the Masters champion."
『前高爾夫球場管理人，變成高爾夫冠軍』
Well, that's why we do it.
演電影就是要娛樂觀眾
I love you, Bill. I love you.
我愛你，比爾，我愛你
I thank you.
謝謝
Thank you.
謝謝
You are staring at me. It's a hairpiece.
妳盯著我看，這是假髮，整頂的
I'm sorry. No, it was just that you look remarkably like Eddie Van Halen.
失禮了，只是你看起來超像艾迪范海倫
I just saw Eddie Van Halen.
我剛看到艾迪范海倫
-Really? -Yeah.
-真的？ -真的
-Where? How was that? -At the Hollywood Bowl.
-在哪裡？ -好萊塢露天劇場
He's a zombie.
他是殭屍
That's a tough break.
太不幸了
So how about a little West Coast hospitality?
享受點西岸的款待吧
Can I get you something? What would you like?
想來點什麼嗎？你們想要什麼？
Smooth, isn't it?
很順口吧？
Oh, hurry. Hurry, he's on the ceiling.
趕快，趕快，鬼在天花板上
-Come get him. Avoid the chandelier. -Light him up, Ray.
-快去抓他，別弄壞吊燈 -讓他見光死，雷！
-See you on the other side, Pete. -Oh, he's so disgusting.
-搞定後見，彼特！ -他真噁
-Looks like Slimer. -Don't cross the streams!
-好像史萊姆鬼 -別穿越蒸汽
-I don't wanna cross... -Oh, no, he's awful.
-我不想穿越… -他好恐怖！
Don't cross the streams!
別穿越蒸汽
Thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately 600 pounds.
三十五呎長，重量約六百磅
That's a big Twinkie.
好巨大的甜吉
Your sister is single, right?
妳姊是單身，對吧？
There's nothing long distance or anything?
沒有遠距離戀愛之類的吧
-No. -Oh, good, good.
-沒有 -很好
And if she had, like, a type, you know...
如果她有喜歡的類型
...if you can have a type, what would that be, you think?
妳覺得是哪種人？
She kind of goes for, like, bad boys.
她比較哈壞小子
-Really? -Yeah.
-真的？ -對
That's cool.
酷喔
What?
什麼？
-So Columbus is the scared one? -Yeah. He's like a little bunny.
-哥倫布是最膽小的？ -對，他就像小兔子
I'll get him.
我來嚇他
Watch this.
等著瞧
No.
不！
No, no, it's okay, it's okay.
不，別擔心
I got him.
我幹掉他了
Is that how you say hello where you come from?
這是你打招呼的方式嗎？
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
Oh, my God, I can't believe I shot Bill Murray.
我的天啊，不敢相信我射中比爾墨瑞
-Mr. Murray? -I'm just Bill, I think, now.
-墨瑞先生？ -叫我比爾就好
-Bill? -Yeah?
-比爾？ -什麼事？
I don't think we're gonna be able to stitch this.
我想這個傷口沒法縫
That's still tender.
仍一碰就痛
You think you might pull through?
你覺得你撐得過去嗎？
No.
不
If it means anything now, I am so sorry.
如果道歉有效，我很抱歉
It was just instinctive.
我是出於直覺
It was my bad.
是我的錯
I was never a very good practical joker.
我開的玩笑一向很爛
So do you have any regrets?
你有任何遺憾嗎？
Garfield, maybe.
或許替『加菲貓』錄音吧
I'm sorry, he just gets me.
抱歉，他太爆笑了
-But it still is sad. -Yeah.
-不過還是很悲傷 -沒錯
-Okay. -Oh, shit.
-好 -靠！
Okay. Okay.
好，來吧
Okay. Shit. Okay.
好，靠！
Sorry. One second. It's a double-barrel. Sorry.
等一下，這是雙管槍，抱歉
Okay.
好了
Three, two, one.
三、二、一
-You guys want some Purell? -Yes.
-你們要一些乾洗手液嗎？ -好
-Please. -Yeah.
-謝了 -好
Around the world.
大家都有了
Yes.
讚！
-Oh, free parking. -Yeah.
哇塞！免費停車
Which is the best thing about Zombieland.
真巧，這是屍樂園的最大好處
No, best thing about Z-land, no Facebook status updates.
不，屍樂園的最大好處是，臉書狀態不用更新
You know, "Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday."
『羅勃寇蒂斯週五蓄勢待發』
-Who cares? -The best thing is no more flushing.
-誰鳥你？ -最大好處是不用沖馬桶，過癮
-Epic. -And the worst thing about Z-land?
屍樂園的最大壞處呢？
You mean, other than the fact that I shot Bill Murray?
妳是指我槍殺比爾墨瑞以外？
That's easy. Losing Buck.
簡單，失去巴克
That's his puppy.
是他的小乖
I'm gonna tell you, I never thought I could love anything like Buck.
說真的，我對巴克的愛勝過一切
He was just... The day he was born, I just lost my mind.
從他出生那天起，我就一心一意愛著他
Sorry.
很遺憾
We were two peas.
我們兩個像極了
He had my personality, my laugh, my appetite.
他遺傳我的個性、笑容和胃口
Laugh?
笑容？
That's when it hit me. I felt ashamed that it had taken me this long...
我恍然大悟，我感到羞愧不已，我花了這麼久時間…
Me, with the best cardio in the business.
保持最佳體能殺殭屍才瞭解到…
-to realize I wasn't the only one running from something.
我不是唯一逃避過去的人
Oh, there it is. There you go.
來，吃吧
Oh, you like the syrup. Yes.
你喜歡糖漿
Okay.
好
We made this wallet together out of duct tape.
我們用膠帶一起製做這個皮夾
Take away a man's son...
奪走一個人的兒子
...you've truly given him nothing left to lose.
確實會使他孤注一擲
I haven't cried like that since Titanic.
自從《鐵達尼號》之後，我就沒哭成這樣了
Hi.
嗨
A hint.
給點提示
Why don't you exhale slowly, squeeze the trigger?
建議妳慢慢呼氣，再扣動扳機
Don't make me drink alone.
一起喝吧
Okay.
好
It's a 1997 Georges?
1997年產，喬…？
I never took French. Georges de Latour? I don't know.
我沒學過法文，喬吉斯拉圖爾？不瞭
-Oh, it's a '97? -Yeah.
-1997年產？ -對
-Was that a good year? -Oh, my God.
-是好年份嗎？ -我的天啊
It was great. Are you kidding me?
那年太棒了，別鬧了
I saw my first R-rated movie that year.
那年我看第一部限制級電影
-Yeah, Anaconda. -Anaconda.
-是《大蟒蛇》 -《大蟒蛇》啊
First tattoo, porpoise.
第一個刺青，海豚
-Really? -Fake.
-真的？ -刺青貼紙
First kiss.
初吻
Scotty Lynch.
史考特林區
You guys used tongue?
你們有用到舌頭嗎？
Maybe.
也許
You jealous of Scotty Lynch?
你嫉妒史考特林區？
Yes, I am.
對，我嫉妒
Actually, I think I'm jealous of your whole 1997.
其實我嫉妒妳的所有1997年
Let's see.
換我了
Mine, first orthodontist.
第一次牙齒矯正
The bastard gave me headgear. Yeah. I got my first B.
那庸醫給我戴頭套，還有第一次只拿八十分
Oh, no.
不會吧
Frightening as Anaconda.
這跟《大蟒蛇》一樣恐怖
In wood shop, which doesn't really count as a class anyway.
木工課，根本不算正規課程
No.
不會吧
Had my first school dance. Oh, thank you.
第一次參加學校舞會，謝謝
It was a Sadie Hawkins, so girls' choice, you know.
是女邀男舞會，所以由女生選男伴
-What, and nobody picked you? -It was girls' choice.
-難道沒人挑你？ -是女生沒眼光
-Those bitches. -I know.
-那些臭婊子！ -我瞭
No, I will not stand for this. No. You know what?
不行，我無法容忍，聽好了
On behalf of all the eighth-grade girls, I would like to make it up to you.
我代表所有八年級女生，我想補償你
Relax.
放輕鬆
Scotty's old news.
史考特是過去式了
I don't even know your name, but this is actually really nice.
我連妳的名字都不知道，但感覺好美妙
You know, between you, me and What About Bob?
在你、我和《天生一對寶？》之間
...you're actually kind of cute.
你其實還算可愛
You think so?
妳這樣認為？
Yeah.
對
I mean, you got the guts of a guppy...
你是有點像軟腳蝦，不過…
...but I could hit that.
你是我的菜
Really?
真的？
Or at least give you the intentional walk to first.
也許起碼讓你上一壘
Hey, a little help moving the couch?
幫忙搬個沙發
We're making a fort.
玩堡壘遊戲
-Yeah. -Yeah, that's probably for the best.
-好 -或許保持距離最好
-Right. -Because...
-我懂 -因為…
...I like you...
我喜歡你
...Columbus, but my sister and I...
哥倫布，可是我和我妹…
...are gonna do whatever it takes to survive, so...
為了生存會不擇手段
I was hoping Wichita was just playing hard to get...
我希望威奇塔是欲擒故縱
...but I realized she had more trust issues than I...
但我瞭解到她比我更不信任別人
...when I woke up the next day and she was leaving.
因為隔天起床時，她竟然走人了
You are like a giant cock-blocking robot...
你就像掃人性致的機器人
...like, developed in a secret fucking government lab.
政府實驗室秘密研發的玩意
Hey.
嘿
I can't believe I almost kissed him. What's our rule?
不敢相信我差點親了他
-Trust no one, just you and me. -Just you and me.
-不相信任何人，除了我和妳 -除了我和妳
Yeah. You and me.
沒錯，我和妳
You have just survived the zombie apocalypse...
妳活過殭屍末日
...and drove halfway across the country.
全國也跑透透
Where are you gonna go?
妳要去哪裡？
I'm going to Pacific Playland.
我要去太平樂園！
Open sesame.
芝麻開門
This is the problem with getting attached to someone.
這是依戀上某人的感情問題
When they leave you, you just feel lost.
當此人離開你，你就感到失落
Having Tallahassee around didn't comfort me...
有塔拉哈西相伴卻無法獲得慰藉
...it just made me feel more alone.
只讓我感到更孤獨
Hey. You weren't exactly gonna score, anyway.
反正你根本不會上壘
You know, you weren't storming the trenches before I came along.
就算我沒打岔，你也不會得逞
That's why I don't let people close. You only get burned.
所以我才不跟人親近，這樣只會受傷
You don't say.
你說了算
Mexico.
墨西哥
You know what they call Twinkies in Mexico?
知道墨西哥人叫甜吉什麼嗎？
-That's where I'm headed, amigo. -Whatever.
-我要去那裡，朋友 -隨你
-Oh, my God. -I know.
我的天啊，超好玩
-This is really fun. Oh, my God. -Yeah.
-超好玩，我的天啊 -沒錯
Oh, no.
糟了！
I'm going after Wichita.
我要去找威奇塔
Look, you ever read that book She's Just Not That Into You?
聽著，你沒有讀過那本談到『她其實沒那麼喜歡你』的書嗎？
You can't make yourself too available.
你不能露出一副那麼好把的樣子
I don't care, all right? I wanna be with her.
我不在乎，好嗎？我要跟她在一起
Have fun in Mexico.
祝墨西哥玩得愉快
Come on. Hurry.
快點！趕快！
Get in.
上車！
Come on, go.
快點，快走！
Go, go.
快走，快走！
On the count of three. One, two, three.
數到三，一、二、三！
You okay? Come on. Hurry, get up.
妳沒事吧？快點，快起來！
-Come on, let's go. -Yeah.
-快點，我們走！ -好
There.
那裡！
I'm not great at farewells, so...
我不太擅長道別，所以…
...that'll do, pig.
就這樣了，豬頭
That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard...
這是我聽過最鳥的道別語
...and you stole it from a movie.
況且還偷電影台詞
Tell the ladies I said hey.
替我跟那些ㄚ頭問好
You know, their pictures were in someone's wallet too.
她們的照片也曾在父母的皮夾裡
Hop in the car, Evel Knievel.
上車吧，菜鳥騎士
-Let's go ride the roller coaster. -Thanks.
-我們去坐雲霄飛車 -謝了
大怒神
Go!
快跑！
Not as fun as I remember.
我記得這裡沒這麼難玩
Shoot the control box.
射控制箱
-Columbus? -Tallahassee?
-哥倫布？ -塔拉哈西？
I think they might actually require our assistance this time.
她們這次可能真的需要我們幫忙
-Buckle up. -Yeah. I'm way ahead of you.
-繫上安全帶 -早就繫了
Time to nut up or shut up.
該帶種了，否則閉嘴
太平樂園
Holy shit.
我的媽呀
法則2 雙重攻擊
My mama always told me someday I'd be good at something.
我媽老是告訴我，遲早我會擁有一項技能
Who'd have guessed that would be zombie killing?
誰猜得到這項技能是殺殭屍？
Probably nobody.
可能沒人
Look.
看！
We better start working on our apology.
我們最好想出好的道歉理由
Oh, no. No.
不！不！
-Hey! -Hey!
-喂！ -喂！
-Hey! Ohio! -Over here!
-在這裡！喂！ -俄亥俄！喂！
-Hey! Help! -Help!
-救命！喂！ -救命！喂！
-Oh, my God. -Help!
-我的天啊！ -救命！
Hey!
喂！
Help!
救命！
-Hey, they're up there. They're okay. -What are you waiting for?
-她們在那裡上面，她們沒事 -那你在等什麼？
That's your gal.
那是你的女人
-Over here! -Help!
-在這裡！ -救命！
Come on! Come get a piece of Tallahassee!
來啊！來吃一塊塔拉哈西啊！
Anybody hungry?
誰餓了嗎？
Tallahassee's nice this time of year! Come on!
塔拉哈西這個季節最美味，來啊！
Come on, you ugly bastards!
來啊，你們這些醜八怪！
Holy shit.
阿娘喂！
Holy shit.
阿娘喂！
Hey!
喂！
Motherfucker!
王八蛋！
鬼屋
Shit. I'm out of shells.
可惡，我沒子彈了
Bingo.
中獎！
Yeah!
讚喔！
Oh, yeah.
好
Here we go.
有種來吧
Oh, shit.
靠
-Wichita! Little Rock! -Hurry!
-威奇塔！小石頭！ -趕快！
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
Look at this fucking clown.
竟然是該死的小丑
Of course. It had to be a clown.
當然是小丑了
Fuck.
靠
No, it had to be a clown, and it had to be Wichita...
不，當然是小丑了，也當然是威奇塔…
...for me to finally understand...
使我終於瞭解…
法則17 別當英雄
...that some rules are made to be broken.
有些法則勢必要打破
法則17 當英雄
Time to nut up or shut up.
該帶種了，否則閉嘴
Fuck this clown.
去你的小丑
-Thanks. -Hey.
-謝了 -嘿
Get your gun. Here you go. Hi.
槍拿好，好了
Okay.
好
Krista.
我叫克莉絲塔
Okay. We should probably head out now.
好，我們可能該閃人了，快點
Finally got to first base.
終於上一壘了
Not bad for that scrawny little spit-fuck.
對於小孬孬來說還不賴
Where's Florida?
佛羅里達呢？
炸甜吉
I have a little hunch.
我大概有預感
Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?
你在哪裡？美味的黃色海綿蛋糕
-Where are you? -Yo.
-你在哪裡？ -冷靜！
False advertising.
不實廣告！
炸甜吉
Jesus Christ.
好，老天
You want a Sno Ball or something?
你要雪球糕之類的嗎？
Oh, God.
天啊
Words cannot express.
難以言喻的悲哀
It's too soon.
反應太快了
Do you think you could maybe just pick out the buckshot and eat around it?
或許你能挑出彈殼，吃外圍就好
Okay, yeah.
好吧
No!
不！
-No! -No!
-不！ -不！
That face?
我的表情？
That's me realizing that those smart girls in that big black truck...
那正是我瞭解到，黑色休旅車裡的聰明女孩們
...and that big guy in that snakeskin jacket...
還有穿著蛇皮外套的猛男
...they were the closest to something I'd always wanted...
他們最接近我一直以來…
...but never really had.
想擁有卻無法如願的東西
A family.
家庭
I trusted them and they trusted me.
我信任他們，他們也信任我
Rule number 32: Enjoy the little things.
法則三十二，享受一點小樂趣
法則32 享受一點小樂趣
Tallahassee got his Twinkie.
塔拉哈西吃到甜吉了
And even though life would never be simple or innocent again...
就算生活不再簡單或純真
...as he savored that spongy, yellow log of cream...
自從他嚐到那黃色海綿奶油蛋糕
...we had hope. We had each other.
我們擁有了希望，我們擁有了彼此
And without other people, well, you might as well be a zombie.
少了同伴，你乾脆當殭屍算了
-Thank you so much. -You had us going.
-太感謝了 -妳們唬到我們了
Yeah.
沒錯
That was very funny.
真好笑咧
So until next time, remember:
後會有期了，記住…
Cardio, seat belts, and this has nothing to do with anything...
體能佳、安全帶等都跟生存無關
...but a little sunscreen never hurt anybody.
但一點防曬油倒無傷大雅
I'm Columbus, Ohio, from Zombieland, saying good night.
聽著，你沒有讀過那本談到『她其實沒那麼喜歡你』的書嗎？